So you think you're burnt out?

Hi, friend. I am assuming you are here because you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or tired?

The following are links and considerations about burnout. Please start with this video about making stress our friend. You will find more information below that references the non-fiction work of Emily and Amelia Nagoski in their book title Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.

There are a few main things to remember when fighting burnout. I will call them the 3 C's.

Completing the Cycle: This means emotions. Emily Nagoski wrote, "To be well is not to live in a state of perpetual safety and calm, but to move fluidly from a state of adversity, risk, adventure, or excitement, back to safety and calm, and out again. Stress is not bad for you; being stuck is bad for you". Completing this cycle is where copings skills come into play. The most efficient way to do this is ANY kind of bodily movement: slow deep breaths, singing/dancing, hugging, sexual connection, cathartic crying, creative expression, laughing, or yoga. I will also add in using ice packs on the back and front of your neck/chest to calm down the nervous system as well (research polyvagal theory).

Connection: "We need both connection and autonomy. Humans are built to oscillate from connection to autonomy and back again (Nagoski). Fundamentally, we are social creatures who crave authentic connection. We require intimacy on so many levels, just as we do food. If you are an empath, you will find that time alone is also essential to survival. Balance.

Creation of Meaning: This helps heal burnout because it allows us to turn the power dynamics when things have "happened to us". Working with individuals who suffer trauma has taught me that telling your story to others is imperative to creating meaning and purpose. Some may assume this is the "everything happens for a reason" line, but I beg to differ. This means "because I experienced it I will create something positive out of my pain". Nagoski also mentions in their book that humans oscillate between isolation a deep sense of meaning to disconnection from meaning and back again. Research Victor Frankl, Brene Brown, Narrative Therapy, Existential Therapy. Talk to your therapist about re-narrating your story.

Check your activities of daily living.

Friends, this is the part where I remind you that you need more sleep and water. We are essentially plants. The new research states that women need even more sleep than we realized before and it also supports that if you are healing you need this time to recover.

Lastly, cultivate your social media.

We are what we consume. If that cousin or annoying aunt keeps posting on social media that the world is ending or political issues you cannot stomach, then snooze them. You don't have to delete. Just take a 30 day break and see what it changes in your perspective. Even better get on Instagram and follow only positive influences. I don't mean the ones with pretty homes and perfect bodies. I mean pets, plants, art, and anything that looks like nature. Feel free to follow my socials. I promise to keep posting positive content.

Instagram: @morallygreybookdragon and @braveenoughllc